Sexual Assault: The Unforgettable
It is never okay and it is never forgotten.
Often it is our first instinct to try our best to “just forget” when bad things happen to us. Sometimes this is because others want us to “move on” or because we put pressure on ourselves to “leave the past in the past.” While trying to let go, forgive, or rebuild are all great goals for a survivor and can absolutely be achieved, they cannot be accomplished without first dealing with the thoughts and feelings caused by the abuse or trauma. Moving on without dealing is the equivalent of attempting to rebuild on top of a building that has been bombed without first clearing away the debris and securing the foundation.
The prospect of sifting through the debris, of letting these thoughts and feelings out, can be scary. Survivors often struggle with feelings of confusion, rage, guilt, shame, and anxiety among others. These feelings are often buried, drowned out, or rushed past in an attempt to move on. You may fear that if you acknowledge these feelings, if you let them out, that they threaten to overwhelm you or incapacitate you. So naturally, we push them away or shut them off.
We all have urge to pack away painful experiences like we pack away old clothes - to lock it up tight in a box, high on a shelf, back in the dark, where no one will find it.
This is a natural coping mechanism we all have. It is our first instinct to protect ourselves, even emotionally, but while this may be helpful in the short term by allowing you to gain some distance from the abuse or trauma, it can ultimately be harmful if used as a long-term plan for coping. In essence, it is often the fear of facing these feelings that keeps you stuck.
It is for this reason that survivors are at a much higher risk of developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and other concerns. The symptoms of PTSD can be overwhelming for an individual and can be extremely challenging in a relationship. Survivors struggling with PTSD can benefit from Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), which has been shown to be tremendously successful in helping even the most severe cases of PTSD. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can also help with a variety of the other concerns that often plague survivors of abuse or trauma including depression, anxiety, and substance abuse.
In order to truly move past it, therapy offers a place to acknowledge these feelings, to give them a name, and to let them out somewhere you feel both safe and understood. It is an opportunity to face your story and to rewrite it, side by side.
We can help.
If you or someone you love is struggling with the effects of sexual trauma, please reach out. We offer trauma therapy with CBT Therapists in Orlando and online throughout the state of Florida. Call today or send us your info and we’ll reach out for a free consultation to see if one of our therapists would be a good fit.
